PART 4: THE BIBLICAL UNION OF MAN AND WOMAN

To better understand what God intended the union of a man and woman to be, we need to look back into the Old Testament.

The Hebrew language of the Bible has no precise word for marriage - the Bible refers to a man "taking a wife" (Gen. 24:67, the union of Isaac and Rebekah). The Jewish Talmud calls it "kiddushin" which means "sanctification." The Mishna states that a man sanctifies (betroths) the woman. For this reason, a man leaves his mother and his father and cleaves unto his wife, they become one flesh. According to the Talmud, "When a man marries, his sins are forgiven." Hence, the wedding day is considered sanctified for the bridegroom and the bride, and is likened to Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement). As Yom Kippur atones for sins, so matrimony brings forgiveness and atonement and enables the bridal pair to embark on life together free of sin.

For the time that a man and woman lived in their parent's home, they were sanctified by the covering of the Godly parents who were to raise them in a Godly manner. Once they leave the protection and Godly covering of their parents, they begin their new lives under their own sanctification as a married couple. They become one flesh.

As it is a custom to wear white on the Day of Atonement as a symbol of purity, to accord with the prophet Isaiah 1:18 - "though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow" - so it is traditional not only for the bride to wear a white gown, but also for the bridegroom to be clad in a white robe (kittel).

It is from this custom that the bride and groom wear white in a Christian ceremony to show that they are sanctified and righteous in Christ Jesus. They come holy and acceptable before God this day, accepting Jesus Christ as Lord of their lives and as their Savior. They are coming forth and saying, "I have laid my sins at the foot of the cross and I am the righteousness of Christ."

Psalms 45:9 is a picture of a royal wedding, and tells of the queen standing on the right of the king. The right hand is the symbolic side of equality. Woman came from the right side of man, not from his head to be over him nor from his feet to be beneath him. Just as woman came from man, man also comes from woman. They come from each other and they stand as partners in this life to share and be equal in all things. It is an everlasting union, never to be split apart.

Genesis 2:20, from the original Hebrew translation, states that it was not found for the man a (helpmate) - his "other self," meaning his feminine form. So God took from the side of Adam and created an identical/feminine self of Adam to be with him. God separated the feminine out of Adam and told them that they were to work together as emotion and logic in wisdom and in life - to share all things together as one flesh.

Ephesians 5:22 translated from the original Greek says, "Wives be wholly submissive unto your husbands as he earns it in a Godly manner." The husband is to lead his home in a Godly manner. He is to lead his bride spiritually and physically in the home, as Jesus Christ loves His own Bride, the Church. He is to treat her with the same consideration and kindness that Jesus gives him. He is to treat his wife with the same forgiveness and understanding that Jesus gives him.

As the husband grows in the Lord and runs his household spiritually, the wife is to be wholly submissive to his guidance and leadership in that respect. But the husband has to earn this, it is not automatic just because he is a male. He must earn that Godly respect.

Jesus Christ earned the respect of His Bride, the Church. He died on the cross and rose from the dead. He suffered our iniquities to pay a price for His Bride. Therefore, we willfully submit our lives to Him. It is the same relationship in a marriage. As the husband treats his wife in a Godly manner, she is to give herself wholly to him just as the Bride gives herself to Jesus Christ.

The teaching that we hear today that the man is absolute lord and rules his house is not Biblical. It never was. It is a result of mistranslation and did not come from God.

Ephesians 5:23-25 goes on to say, "As Christ also is the head of the Church, Himself being the Savior of the body, but as the Church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives just as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself up for her that He might sanctify her."

This is also out of the Old Testament. It says that when the husband marries the wife, he brings sanctification to her. When a man chooses to take a bride, he is totally sanctified in Christ and when they marry, she is as totally sanctified as he is in God's eyes. They go out with no past. It doesn't matter what they did yesterday or what their lives were in the past. What matters now is this union today in Jesus Christ. They now begin a new life, totally unblemished.

Ephesians 5:27 continues "that He might present Himself the Church in all her glory having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that she should be holy and blameless. So husbands are also to love their own wives as their own bodies" for you must realize that when you hurt her, she is your other self. This pertains to the wife also. You are one flesh.

God created women with more emotion than He did men. Men were supposed to be created with more logic than the female, although sometimes it is hard to tell in today's society. They are to share their emotional relationship with their Lord and Savior. Combining the two characteristics - emotion and logic - creates a whole person, a complete individual that cannot be divided nor deceived nor sent in the wrong direction.

Again, "woman" means "other self of man". She is to be granted honor as a fellow-heir; to stand at the right side is to be a joint-heir. As we stood at the right side of Christ at the wedding with Him, husband and wife stand at His right hand, heir and joint-heir of everything that is His. That means everything that they go through, good and bad, they go through together, side by side. The husband is to honor his wife as a fellow-heir of the grace of life so that his prayers may not be hindered. That is why it is so important that he operate his home in a Godly manner.

In closing, the question is: Who is right? Are you able to substantiate your answer? One must go back to Genesis, ascertain the nature and definitive characteristics of Adam, thereby laying a foundation by which you can judge incoming information for yourself. To start this search, go to the Hebrew Bible to look - through Hebrew eyes - at "Adam." Set out to answer the questions "Who is Adam" and "What is the role of women as God intended"?

 Additional Recommended Reading:

Divorce and Remarriage - What Does the Bible Really Say? by Ralph Woodrow (105 pages). Without exception, every person who has read this books says that it is the best book on the subject and of great help in dealing with divorce. The actual Biblical perspective of divorce and remarriage will set many free from the judgmental attitude held by many Christians today. (See Messengers of Truth Ministries Bookstore.)

The Jewish Way in Love & Marriage by Maurice Lamm (288 pages). Available from most Jewish bookstores or general bookstores with a Judaica section.

Marital Relations, Birth Control, and Abortion in Jewish Law by David M. Felman (322 pages). Available from Jewish bookstores or general bookstores with a Judaica section. (You may contact Messengers of Messiah for cost if necessary.)